Is this a hard life and should i feel the way i do?it is long?

i don't make friends easily because of all this....my biological mom had a heroin addiction and she was an alcoholic.so when she had me 16 almost 17 yrs ago my dad got custody of me,and his brother was daing this woman namesd marcia.marcia& my uncle broke up so she asked if she could help raise me since he had no one plus no place to live he said yes.her 2 sons and one daughter were like sibilings,still are.7yrs later marcia introduced my dad to laura her eldest son's ex gf.they hit off and got married when i was 8.we moved,i switched schools.and lost contact with all my friends and my cousin who was in the same grade as me.they had my little sister when i was almost 9.when i was 15 when moved again but i didn't switch schools.that summer my aunt on my bio mom's side of fam contacted my dad saying my 2 sisters wanted to see me so i went and saw them.my mom was completly off of heroin but still drank so she went to rehab.i saw my sister jackie once that i remeber when i was 7.my other sister brandi was in prison(been there 3 times=most of my life.)my bro can't seem to stay out of prison but says he would like to meet me.i only know my aunt that got in contact w/ my dad,my bio mom,now brandi and now jackie.we talk sometimes over the phone but my sisters live in hayward so i only see them like every 2 months.i have never felt that i have fit in.i felt like i was abandoned by my bio mom's side of the fam until last summer.i feel like i have control issues because i don't like things to change...is it right or wrong for me to suddenly want to get to know my bio mom's side of the family after not having contact for so long?i have 4 sets families.marcia's,bio mom's side and what is left of my dad's side,and laura's (stepmom) family.i feel like it is impossible to keep track of everything happening.i cannot remember any of my childhood from age 6-12.is it my brain's way of canceling out negative moments at that time?