Could you critique my essay? PLEASE?

Your sentence structure, tenses, and wording are a bit choppy. Take for example your sentence, "Through Jack's transformation from being a teenage scoundrel to a well-disciplined, he strives for a better life and yearns for higher education so he could get out of the hell hole he is in." The sentence is a bit long, and your grammar is slightly off. It would flow more smoothly if instead it read, "During the book, Jack transitions from being a teenage scoundrel to a well-disciplined young man. However, he is constantly striving for a better life and yearning for higher education so he can escape his unpleasant life." The use of 'hell-hole' brings down the novel and makes it less formal. The essay is too long to go through everything here, but I would work on coherency and sentence structure primarily. Perhaps get a friend to look at it and mark it, and then make sure to implement the changes they suggest. Good luck